Wisdom

Here are a few things I have learned:

1. When your five-year-old cuddles up on your lap, groans and needs a blanket even though it's 80 degrees, you should put your laptop away, because he's about to throw up all over you and the Dell warranty doesn't cover puke damage.

2. While showing your kids the cute little baby doves in the nest outside grandma's window, be prepared to give a lecture on the circle of life, because a blue jay just might swoop in and start killing them and eating them for lunch.

3. Kids are like pets, they are really cute when they are babies, but as they grow up they growl, snarl and bite, and they never stop smelling bad.

4. The aches, pains and tummy trouble of the kids is directly proportional to the amount of laundry that needs to be folded and put away.

5. Just because you are related to someone, doesn't mean you have to be their friend.

6. If you burn the oatmeal, be prepared to be asked "Who made the oatmeal" until the day you die, because the kids are sure that every time you make it, it will taste burned.

7. Eating bread crust makes you smart and pretty (or at least that's what I tell the kids).

8. Mice are only cute in Disney cartoons.

9. If the cat sits at the door crying to go out, it will be sitting on the outside of the door crying to come back in as soon as you sit back down.

10. If you open your windows to let in the breeze and save on your energy costs, it WILL start raining.